31. Whoa. I'm more than 30 now.
I'm sure we've all heard multiple times that life stops being fun when you're not in your 20s anymore, that you're supposed to settle down and also have everything figured out and be a real adult and know and do adultlike things. When I was younger, I was almost certain that 30 meant you get a briefcase. Because real adults have briefcases.
Well, I'm here to let you know, as someone who has done been there and done 30 for a whole year, none of that is true. Whaaaa? I know right? 30 (and everything else) is exactly what you make it. I made a decision to make my 30th year here great, and it was. Of course, it had its moments of ups and downs because #life, but overall? It was everything I wanted and needed it to be.
Last July, I spent my 30th birthday in Rio. The day after? I went hang gliding. As I was floating in the sky, drifting amongst the breeze next to this kind Brazilian man I'd just met, I felt so free. I felt hopeful. It was like it clicked that I could do anything. I was ready to make this the best year yet.
You know, just casually hovering over the earth. 30 year old things.
In fact, it was last summer, after that Brazilian birthday, that I was so inspired by the murals and street art there, that I started painting on the back of a cardboard box in my room. I've kinda been painting ever since.
RAW: presents MAGNIFY. April 2018 Photo Cred- IG: @the_damianriggs
At 30, I was the most lonely I've ever been. I was in a city where I didn't know many people, and because I wasn't working or going to school, I spent a lot of time just in my own company. There were moments when I didn't leave my house or talk to anyone for days at a time. There were times when I was okay with that, and there were other times when it got to me. I haven't always been the most extroverted or social person, but this year has also been the one where I've actively worked to overcome that. I Googled how to make friends and applied what I learned to my actual life. I put myself out there to meet people and I swiped right on some top-notch finds. I made an actual effort to go out and make friends and have adventures and do things and because of that I've met so many people and made connections that wouldn't have been possible had I not stepped out of my cozy lil cave.
Of course I have to talk about my confidence too. In addition to Googling how to make friends, I spent hours watching Youtube videos (and taking notes!) on how to be confident and how to build confidence and it actually started to make sense. I slowly began to change. Now I feel differently. I carry myself differently. I'm not nearly as nervous and anxious about situations as I once was. Not to say I never get nervous or anxious because I definitely still do. But the more I use my newly acquired confidence, the easier it gets. I'm also more aware of how I speak about myself and how I talk to myself and how I think about myself. I made changes where changes needed to be made and that's something I'm constantly working on improving. Issa process.
Photo cred- IG: @reese.bland
Year 30 has brought about a confidence in myself and my body that wasn't there before. I've enjoyed being naked before but now? I really enjoy it. I'd much rather not wear clothes than wear them. I've done nude photoshoots, I'm a nude figure model, I've been photographed nude outside and I've had a photoshoot while I was having sex. The sex photoshoot tho? Easily one of the highlights of my year. It was something I wanted to do, and I did it and I loved it.
I've found myself. I've reinvented myself. I've stayed true to myself. I'm settling more and more into who I wanna be. For now at least. Living unapologetically. Doing what I want with the people I want to do it with. Dropping unfavorable habits and picking up favorable ones. I'm (mostly) hydrated. I could write multiple blogs about the various ways I've changed. All for the good. All to be a better me and to consciously create and become the best version of me.
Photo cred- IG: reese.bland
I don't believe in the same things I believed in a year ago. I don't eat the same as I did a year ago. I don't consume the same content I once did. I've intentionally attracted several dope ass people into my life since then. What a difference a year makes. Richmond, although I'm leaving you very soon, this is where 30-year-old Dari become her 30-year-old self. This year was definitely a turning point for me and it happened here. (EDIT: As of 2 days ago, I no longer live in Richmond, but I did move back to Charlotte!)
I needed to experience this age this way. Single. Childless. Isolated from everyone I know. Exploring myself. Exploring my body. Rediscovering my creativity. Discovering my magic. I love me. I really do love myself and I'm proud that I am who I am at the time that I'm it.
People will tell you on in your twenties to have fun now because when 30 hits it's over. I'm here to assure that if 30 is a place you have yet to be, don't fret. It was fun. 10/10. Highly recommend. Your 30 will most definitely look different than my 30 just as your (insert your age here) looked/will look different than my (insert your age here again). But changing your entire outlook on an event or a situation before it happens can change everything.
Anyway. 31. Another year on this rock. Another chance to make it great. Boy am I happy to be here. I'm glad you are too.
Shoutout to Ki for this pic though. Arizona Adventures.